


Emotions fucking suck

by ccm1822



Category: Euphoria (TV 2019)
Genre: All relationships minor, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Depressive Episode, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Girl needs a hug oof, Hurt/Comfort, Not Ship focused, Rue is the main character, Some happy parts don’t worry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:20:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27443296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ccm1822/pseuds/ccm1822
Summary: Rue is having a hard time.Trigger warning for mental health shit.
Relationships: Rue Bennett/Jules Vaughn, Rue Bennett/Lexi Howard
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	Emotions fucking suck

Rue walked down the hall, her eyes hurting from lack of sleep. Insomnia was a bitch. What day even was it, they all blurred together passing like seconds, and years. Some part of her recognized that she was in a depressive episode, but she didn’t acknowledge it. Rue had had far worse episodes in the past, she could deal with this numbingly empty week. She anxiously quickened her pace, numbers flashings into her head, intrusive thoughts also fucking sucked. Actually everything fucking sucked right now. Her feet felt miles away as they hit the hard tile, the sounds her shoes made falling on deft ears. She was entirely focused on the numbers now. And then she felt someone shake her. 

“What are you doing?” Jules asked, “You walked right past the cafeteria.”

Huh? She had? Where even was she? Rue looked around taking in her surroundings somehow she had walked to the front of the school, and was now standing by an exit. 

“Hey.” Jules said, waving her hand in front of Rue. “You gonna skip?” 

“No.” What was the point? 

Worry crossed Jules face, but it quickly disappeared. 

Rue put on a smile, and it wasn’t exactly fake, she was kind of happy now that Jules was here. Kind of.

“Let’s go,” Rue said, pulling Jules down the hall. “Lexi is gonna wonder where we are.” 

“Lexi?” 

“She’s eating with us today.” 

Jules nodded, “Cool. Cool.” 

Rue almost laughed at the weird choice of response, and then felt reassured. She wasn’t even that depressed, she just basically laughed. Her anxiety started to subside, but was still there as always. A little voice whispering in her ear. 

Rue and Jules arrived at the table where Lexi sat. Rue smiled, putting up a front. For what? She wasn’t sure.

Hey. At least she wasn’t high right now.

She wished she was high right now.

Or drunk.

No she didn’t.

“You good Rue?” Lexi asked, with a similar look to the worried one Jules had earlier.

“Yeah.” 

Jules played with an apple in her hands. “She keeps zoning out today.” 

“I’m just bored.” Of life. Of everything. 

“Mood.” Was all Jules said. 

Lexi said nothing, and still seemed worried. She had known Rue for longer, and was not as easily distracted from something suspicious about how she was acting.

“Sus.” Rue muttered.

“What?” Lexi said, looking at her.

Rue blinked, she had said that out loud. “Nothing, I was just talking to myself.” 

Jules swung her arm around Rue’s shoulder. “Makes sense, you’re fun to talk to after all.” 

Rue smiled slightly, “Thanks I guess.” She resisted the urge to add lol after as an attempt to break the awkwardness she felt surround her. 

Why the fuck did Lexi and Jules even like her? It made absolutely no sense, none. There was nothing redeeming about her. 

Her thoughts flowed through her head, clouding her focus. When she focused again Lexi, and Jules were chatting about a fight that happened yesterday, and most of the other students were leaving the lunchroom. 

Time was a funny thing.

Blinking tiredly, she got up moving to go to class, muttering a “Bye.” on her way out.

-

Rue woke up from a dreamless sleep in her bed. What time was it? Checking her phone, she groaned seeing it read 4 am. She had fallen asleep an hour ago, and her stupid fucking brain was acting up already. She closed her eyes lying there, doing nothing. When she checked the phone again it was 5 am, and she was still wide awake. Exhaustion has no affect on her, she couldn’t sleep after staying up for days sometimes, and other times she feel asleep in class after sleeping all night and day. With a exasperated sigh, she pulled up a reality show on her phone, mindlessly starting at the screen. She felt nothing, and everything, but she’s didn’t need to acknowledge that, she just needed to find out if Sarah really had backstabbed Kelly.


End file.
